(Inspired by an odd Yuku glitch in this thread.)
This one goes out to all of my Maniac friends, but especially those who miss the "In the Year 2000" skits Conan used to do before NBC denied him the rights to use the bit on TBS...
*sings in a falsetto voice*
IN THE YEAR 2025...THE YEAR 2025...
• Stephen Rickard will set a new personal record by pronouncing a Russian defenseman's name in 7 different ways over the course of a single game.
• Jeff Christian will still be playing pro hockey, at the ripe old age of 55. He will be 7th in the league in scoring, and lead the minors in arthritis medication endorsement deals.
• The officials will continue to be greeted with BOOing every time they enter the ice, even at the start of the game before they've had a chance to screw everything up yet. On a related note, Kevin Mallin will finally be deemed unable to properly officiate hockey games. By USA Hockey. Not even for the Mini-Mites.
• Ron Geary will grab headlines nationwide with a brilliant act of cross-promotion. "Now for your intermission entertainment, it's thoroughbred horse racing ON ICE!"
• Brad Perkins and Greg Hanold will be holed up in a rest home together, both having gone crazy from inhaling too many facepaint fumes over the years. Perkins will occasionally yell out CHEEEEEESMAAAAAAN without provocation, startling everyone nearby.
• The city of Evansville will finally come into the year 2011, kicking and screaming all the way. For the first time, slightly fewer than half of the citizens will maintain the belief that closing Roberts Stadium was a bad decision. Those same people will continue to list "The Honeymooners" as their favorite current television program.
• The IceMen Maniacs Booster Club will sell its one millionth cowbell. In honor of this milestone, Drew Campbell will perform a ceremonial puck drop, then immediately chuck a cowbell at the opposing team's bench.
• Blizzard's long-lost mascot friend from the North Pole, Icy the Saint Bernard, will make his long-awaited return to Evansville for one night only. While in town, he will stop by Chip Rossetti's house and pee on the mailbox.
• Jeff Walker will spontaneously combust due to excitement when 3 fans hit the "bullseye" in Chuck-A-Puck on the same night.
• The Komets will still suck.